thursday night's plans.

the context for this doesn't even matter, but i had friended someone on thefacebook because I WANTED TO SEE HER PICTURES. turns out, she is going to be in town next week and wants to hang out.

i do not.


that's my brother by the way. in the room adjacent to my own.

more info here: http://www.womenscycling.ca/newsletter-august-september-06.htm#agony

edited to say: This is simply NOT funny.

things i text to kirsten while at work.

yes, i know i said i got laid off. and i did. but in substitute land, getting laid off means that instead of choosing your own jobs every day - and being able to choose from like, 15 of them EVERY DAY - you maybe get called for one specific job each month. so instead of making $90 a day, you're making $90 a month. yes. my life. anyway, here we go!

7:22am: Im subbing at the high school where i havent been in a couple months and a kid saw me in the parking lot and called me a dumb bitch!!
7:23: it wasn't very nice of him.
7:28: i'm so bored. i'm working a math class.
kirsten 7:30: perfect. your preferred subject!
7:31: i sure do love it. numbersnumbersnumbers!
7:36: this girl is making a fortune teller instead of doing her work. i want to play w it so badly when she's done!
7:56: thank god i found a magic eye calendar to keep me busy!
8:14: this girl i refer to as "cheeto fingers" is in my class
8:15: she is just staring at the floor
8:18: now she's putting on mascara.
8:21: now she's curling them.
8:23: now 20 minutes in she's opening her notebook. good for her!
kirsten 8:24: ahaha. i want to meet cheeto fingers.
8:27: i don't think you'd have much to talk about.
8:34: she closed her notebook. ten minutes is enough for math. i agree!
8:39: she's asleep on her backpack now.
8:44: still sleeping. she didn't even look up when the phone rang.
8:47: she's awake and looking around the room to see if anyone noticed. i did!!
9:52: aw, this girl failed her drivers exam :(
kirsten 11:02: poor thing
11:11: i can't see the magic eye!!!!!
kirsten 11:17: it's a pig
11:48: now i'm at the track meet. it's making me tired.
kirsten 11:50: there is a track meet?
11:50: yeah some all day meet. i'm subbing for a teacher who is working at it. so many running mexicans!
kirsten: what did they steel[sic]???
11:51: this shit is boring.

more birthdays

birthdays

caroline: are you celebrating the year of your birth?

me: yeah, i'm at danny's with kirsten!

caroline: careful, that bitch is CRAZY.

stuck in traffic

me: where are you?

kirsten: i've been stuck in traffic for hours. i am not even out of phoenix.

me: people who get into car accidents are so inconsiderate.

kirsten: i've been saying that for years.

me: i'm looking it up online. it happened an hour and a half ago - it must be a big deal if it hasn't been cleared yet...

kirsten: there better be five people and a cop dead!

sasha: bad karma!

kirsten: i'm joking. but srsly...

scabs

omegle.com; or, Kevin, i found your new favorite site!

text message

cari: I basically met your clone, except is blonde, and plays in a band. you guys would be best friends.

me: but i hate myself.

cari: hahaha?

love and marriage.

me: So, Nellie just got engaged and is getting married probably in September.
my mom: But she is so young! [she's my age btw]
me: Well, whatever.
my mom: So how does that make you feel?
me: Like I'm 24, live with my parents and can't keep a job.

...let's continue yesterdays WFI...

Yesterday's WFI can be found here, you lazy bastard that refuses to scroll down.


And just this very moment I received a text message from Ta.

"Hey you big homo. Jew jokes today at work."


I only work weekends, so, with today being a Monday, I wasn't around to partake in the Jew jokes.


No one there thinks I'm Jewish, but they allllllllll think I'm gay.


Also, I just googled "gay jew" to find a good picture for this post, and not only were the results not offensive, but they were also just boring. So, no picture!

gemath y
I keep thinking in a little while
heath ledger will be like SURPRISE!
and not be dead anymore
like all he needed was a little sleep

whiitethrash
I THINK THAT TOO
like it was a joke
or like
a marketing scheme
or a social experiment

gemath y
maybe
but I feel like someone will just like...
water him
or somehing
and then he'll wake up
like he's dried fruit or something
everyone keeps talking about it
and reading about it
and wanting to talk about it
and the drugs and stuff
and I don't participate
cause I'm just like...ohhh wait a few weeks!
he'll be back
stop worrying so much!


whiitethrash
i'm WFIng this PS
because i think we might get some hits off of
"heath ledger surprise"

gemath y
ha
haha
include that part

Precautions.

Nellie: I don't mean to gross you out but...I just pulled two tampons out of my body and I had no idea two tampons were inside of me. That is one deep vagina...