thursday night's plans.

Seriously.

today i walked into my favorite local art store. it's pretty new, but they had a few in tempe/phoenix when i lived there. a nice little independent store. with good supplies. and not craft shit. i love stores without craft shit (fuck you knitting/puff paints/scrap book supplies!!!).


and lo and behold. holy effing shit. bitching mother fucker. a handwritten note taped to the door. if desperation had a typeface, it was definitely printed in it.


HELP WANTED PART TIME

help wanted!!! and i want to help!!! i've been trying to help for a year! and in an art store!!! without a uniform!!! so i can wear jeans and tshirts and sneakers and be happy!!! and never would i have to begin a sentence with "would you like anything to drink?" "hey can everyone be quiet? i need to take attendance..."

and part time even! lord knows i don't like to fully commit to anything - but to partially commit?? oh i can do that. i've been doing that all my life!

GIVE ME AN APPLICATION!!!!

OH - AND LET ME MAKE A PURCHASE TOO CUZ I CAME HERE FOR THAT REASON SPECIFICALLY!

(i got a swweeeettt new sketchbook btw)


so i fill out the application. it looks good - save for kinda sloppy handwriting - but what did they expect when they hand me some old bic?? this bitch uses GEL PENS. get real, please. but come on - FINALLY an application where putting down "BFA isn't laughable! and maybe...is even PREFERRED!!


i hand it in and continue on my way. about twenty minutes later when i'm nearing my neighborhood i am reflecting on m day and i realize...

i didn't put my phone number on the application. anywhere. no where. not any place. no place. no line. no box. no nothing.

fucking. crap.

but see - this is how we know i've grown as a person over the last year. previously i would have just left it was it was. i would have continued home, maybe slightly bummed, or maybe slightly in good spirits because shit - that is so fucking retarded it's lame. here i have been, laid off for months, and job searching/being rejected from everything so much that i'm depressed and borderline miserable and i blow the opportunity of a lifetime! (and yes, sadly, this is just that for me.)

but no. I'VE GROWN. call it desperation or call it adulthood - but i picked up my phone, 411ed the shit out of that store and talked to the cashier.

"uuuh...hi. i just filled out an application there but i didn't put my phone number on it..."
"oh...haha, well, that's odd. let me fish it out for you!"
"okay, also, let's pretend this never happened and that i'm not an idiot."
"nooo problem..."

the irony? i gave them my phone number...and they will never, ever call.

my priorities are right where they should be

i had a decent march/april money-wise.

despite not actually having a job, i managed to get one paycheck in the mail from the last time i actually got called in to work. i sold a couple paintings, a couple screen prints, house sat for a weekend, and finished up work on some commissioned items for a wedding.

i had some bank, yo!

and then i spent it all on 2nd row kelly clarkson tickets!



now i have to scour the house for change so i can buy some scratchers and make my money back!

RE: Gem's previous entry

well, obviously, changing the color scheme of the blog was apparently a WFI, as my one time partner in crime has now quit the blog!

i feel like a rejected spouse. i was only changing the blog colors so i could GET A LITTLE ATTENTION AROUND HERE. yeesh. i just wanted a little, "leave it alone, i'll fix it! i'll make it pretty!" but noooooo. i get an "i quit".


fewer syllables i guess.


i also got laid off and spent every last penny i had (both literally, as in, in the bank, and figuratively, as in, credit cards!) on getting everything i need to screen print from home. we'll see how that goes, as i fall further and further into debt. and thus, i shall become proof that finances and depression are directly related.

edited only 22 minutes later to add:



(i knew she'd be back...)

printmaking student association!

Although a printmaking major I am, I don't think I was ever OFFICIALLY a part of the Printmaking Student Association at my university, yet somehow I regularly attend meetings, participate in their annual show and print sale, and receive all their e-mails (read: Jackie is involved with the group, so I end up going to the meetings and tricked suckered into being part of the shows and sales!).


And sometimes Jackie volunteers for me things - like making posters for PSA events. This specific event revolving around t-shirts (because perpetuating the popular-yet-wrong idea that printmaking is just 'making shirts and stuff' is a fabulous idea...), it was dubbed the PSA "T-Party". Rather than bitch and complain* about her volunteering me to take part in an event that a) I don't care about, b) I think is a waste of time, and c) I don't even have the time for, I created the following masterpiece:




I didn't even get it approved by the people in charge of PSA and the event. Instead I just giggled at it and showed it to Jackie and e-mailed it to the higher-ups at 12:30 am. Jackie approves by the way.



But anyway, this poster is either the best idea ever - because kids on campus will be intrigued and excited about the possibilities of the T-Party!!! Or the worst fucking idea, because it is gross and perverted and PSA will realize I never actually paid my $10 member fee and can no longer participate in their print sales where I pocket 100% of my sales rather than splitting it 50/50 with the association!


Sigh.



*I actually did a lot of complaining about it. Duh.

Sasha. Don't.

whiitethrash: hi.
gemath y: hi
whiitethrash: if i did
whiitethrash: the screen print of your dreams
whiitethrash: what would it be.
gemath y: your face
gemath y: nose deep
gemath y: in vag
whiitethrash: oh man.
whiitethrash: just stop.
whiitethrash: i think i want to draw a goat.

Don't ask me for ideas. I'm fresh out.

Mandatory classes for graduation that take themselves too seriously.

ASU forces each art student to take a class about...stuff... before they graduate. Now up until this semester, the semester where i have to take it, the class has just been a one credit course involving you participating in an art show during the semester. you meet with the class maaaaaybe twice a semester. and basically it's all bullshit and way easy.

BUT THIS SEMESTER, although still one credit, the class meets once a week, every week, for the entire semester, and the teacher makes us write silly statements and resumes and essays. none of which i want to do, because i never want to do anything, and none of which i take seriously. because it's for one credit. and i consider myself friends with the guy who teaches it (meaning he would never actually fail me), who was a grad student here until he received his mfa last semester. now he is just "adjunct faculty".

anyway, our assignment for this week was to write an essay. topic? "what do you want to be when you grow up".

wait, what? my response? "i'm 22 you fucker!!!" jackie's response? "i'm 24 you jerk!" roommate kirsten's response? "a dinosaur!!!"

anyway, here are the essays i wrote. yes. two. one for me, and one for jackie (respectively).

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. But I do know what I don’t want to be. And I think that’s worth just as much. Here is a short list of things I DON’T want to be. Ever. At all. Not even a little bit:

10.Thudong Monk in Bangkok
9. the 5th wife of a polygymist (4th wife is okay)
8. any insect
7. the Hardegrees
6. drug addict (recreational user does not an addict make!)
5. school librarian
4. Kirsten Rutherford
3. my mother
2. a hamburger
1. adjunct faculty at Arizona State University


So in conclusion…

don't ask me who the Hardegrees are.


My name is Jacqueline, and when I grow up I want to have twenty children of my own and a farm in the mountains in Utah. I want to be the 5th wife of a noble, well respected man who will allow me to have as many cats as I desire. If time allows, I may pursue art in the form of inked kitty paw prints on found objects and the scrap booking of important events in the lives of my children and the children of my sister wives. However, I do not believe time will allow for any of this, for I shall be too busy taking on the fulfilling tasks of laundering clothing, French braiding hair, and embroidering everyone’s initials onto their clothing. I will also be busy setting type for the church’s instructional pamphlets on how to be a good wife and live free from sin that are to be delivered to local schools and anywhere else there are pretty, young girls in need of guidance. I shall be in charge of delivering them as well, along with possibly the 4th wife, and maybe even the 3rd wife, but not with the 1st wife or the 2nd wife because pamphlet deliveries only take place on Tuesday mornings and on Tuesday mornings it will be their turn to drive the children to school because I will bring them to school on Mondays and Wednesdays.


is turning these in the WFI or the BFI?

i'm going with the latter, because i already turned them in. and i need to graduate.

oh, by the way, i dropped the chemistry class that i...NEED TO GRADUATE. so i guess i wont be graduating anyway!!

i knew hanging out at the MU was a bad idea.

because yesterday, the memorial union at Arizona State University, caught on fire and burned itself down.


Actually I don't think it entirely burned down, but I did hear there were lots of firetrucks, helicopters, and even a segment on CNN.

Meanwhile I was across campus in the art building eating a slice of pizza and turning in a reduction cut relief print of a polar bear being killed by a whale. Oblivious to the goings inside the building that I occasionally venture to for bad sushi or good ice cream. Actually, the ice cream isn't even that good, but the one guy who works at Cold Stone Creamery there has the biggest biceps.

I am getting off topic.

This little email, that I'm assuming was sent to every student because I aint no member of no astrology astronomy club, was sent out afterwards. who It is lovely and wonderful and saddening and beautiful. And it makes me giggle, too! Mostly because I'm sure this is the only way a shit ton of people even knew there had been a fire.



Also, I stil have a bunch of craigslists and whatever to post, but I just don't feel like it yet...eek!

ART

BFI or WFI? Instead of working on any of the fifty things I have to have done next week for midterms, I spent the night in the studio drinking beer and printing a shit ton of these.


I think it's a BFI.

sending this would either be the best fucking idea, or the worst fucking idea....

i received an award in 2006 - well, a grant really - to do a project for Hillel at my university. Long story short, they stiffed me, sent me nasty letters asking for a return of the half of the money they had given me at the beginning, and have been a general nuisance ever since. I keep trying to get my dues from them but they keep coming up with nonsense. so basically, after a bunch of letter writing and them attacking my character, calling me a "failure", saying my project was incomplete and even yelling at me and my mom on the phone, lying, being hypocritical and avoiding their responsibilities i have had enough. this is my final letter to the head of the committee. other players include the rabbi, who basically co-heads the committee but wont admit it because then he has to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, and maureen, a secretary of sorts.

all the other letters i had written them were very direct, polite and appropriate. but that's no fun, is it??!!


Well David,

Yo it's like this, I really enjoyed your brief history of the success of the Frazer award. It looks like so much fun that I am even considering trying for it again next year - - wouldn't that just be aces! Are food and beverage provided at the awards? I sure hope so, I love cheese and crackers.

Enough about lactose (does it give you gas? it gives my brother gas), my mother showed me the letter you sent to her regarding both the previous letter she sent to you and Rabbi Lee and my "failed committments", and I cannot thank you enough! I haven't laughed so hard since Gallagher's Sledge-O-Matic special in 1998!! Who knew lies, bullshit, and outright make believe could be so funny!! You did, David! You did! I especially loved the part about "knowing the facts" and your creative usage of the word "spite" in place of the word "despite". Or was that by accident? Humm... I bet you make a fabulous lawyer!

These incidents you speak of, with wild and great imagination, are the things children's books are made of! Which is both ironic and convenient considering I hope to be an illustrator of children's books in the future - so if you ever feel like fully developing these "fantasy worlds" into a completed story and you need an illustrator - you know where to find me (wink!)! But remember, I have very little (if any) understanding of "committment" and I often times take things for granted...

I love that you think I ignored Maureen's phone calls (all both of them!) and e-mails (of which I have only three, one of her cancelling an appointment I had with the Rabbi and postponing it, last minute, and the other a response to an e-mail I had sent her regarding specific meeting times and my availability), it's like you pulled this shit out of your ass. straight from your ass. you stuck your hand up your butt hole and ripped this from your innards, bloodied and soiled.. Your inclusion of the e-mails was a nice touch too, especially considering they don't include MY writings to Maureen, and just hers. Well played, Mr. Frazer!

And you are absolutely right about my project being unfinished in February. It most certainly was. Absolutely 100% unfinished in February. Did you know the projects were due March 19th? That's weird.

Humm..what else... oh, "redirecting" my project toward children. Well, yes and no. I didn't REDO my project, it just so happened that while working on it it had taken a direction geared toward youth. Perhaps it had to do with my years of teaching the wee ones or my previously mentioned desire to illustrate books for kids. Either way, the Rabbi really fucked up his notations on that meeting we had! I think all those back problems got to his ears!! I kid, I kid!

Lastly, once again you're right about something. i didn't bring my finished project to the Rabbi until the end of April. Why? Well, because no one had asked me for it prior. There had been no rescheduling for the presentations and no requests to see my project, so i just kept it at home until someone asked for it. And then I brought it in.

Oh - before i forget, you mentioned something about the "inappropriate tenor" used by my Mother in her letter to you, which reminds me, I don't think I ever got a chance to thank you for calling me an irresponsible failure. I really appreciated it. Is that better or worse than a washed up, hypocritical Jerk face of a Lawyer cheating young artists out of hundreds of dollars?? I'm not quite sure, and neither are my two peers from 2006 who also didn't receive their dues.

Well, before I end this letter between friends, I would like to share a short list I've made of things you can do with the money I am owed, but will never receive.

1. stick it in your butt
2.
3.

Uh oh! It's unfinished!

-best wishes,
Sasha

PS no i don't want to do a presentation for a "small portion" of the money.