Just My Luck.

So, I really haven't been able to upload all my trip pictures because there is a limit to flicker for the month or whatever and I have 500 pictures. That makes it difficult. Anyway, I don't want to talk about my trip! I want to talk about this weekend!

Friday Night: Certified Bananas at the Enormous Room.
Saturday: Grocery shopping for party
Saturday Night: Big Fat Greek Wedding, Caroline's Birthday party
Sunday: PUMPKIN PARTYYYYYYYYYY!

Now, sure, all of those things sound fun, but in my life, there's a WFI lurking in just about every seemingly great idea.

First, I wish I wasn't going to Certified Bananas because I have so much cleaning and prep to do for the party and I still don't have anything to wear to the wedding. But! I have to do normal things and act normal so Emily doesn't pick up on the surprise part of our party on Saturday.

Then we need to buy so much for the party...food, beer, decorations, pumpkins. AND I HAVE NO MONEY. I am really screwed on this. I am hoping for a decent commission check this month or I am financially fucked for November.

Then there's the wedding, which I think will actually be fun. But I am not getting my hair done because of the aforementioned lack of time and money. AND I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR YET! It's a formal evening wedding. I am going to look so stupid because I just don't have anything. And I have to wear a dress because I am taking Mary and I can't be the girl who brings a girl and wears pants! I won't be able to take a greek boy home with me! Plus, I have to give a wedding gift, which is another $100 dollars. Also, I have no money.

And then there's the party. We invited just about everyone we know. So, I am worried there will be 50 people packed into our apartment. It could be the world's greatest party or the world's most uncomfortable party.



Then of course, there's the Emily's Birthday present surprise of us flying her secret lover in from L.A. for the weekend. It will be like a movie when she arrives at the restaurant thinking it's dinner with her sister and Secret Lover is at the table. The wrench in the whole thing is Em's x-boy who will be at Caroline's party and also our party (accidents on both accounts) who also happens to be good friends with S.L.

Hopefully the next few days will unravel neatly and with very little drama. Why do all the most exciting future BFI's have so much WFI potential? I'm sure there will be a disaster among all the WFI possibilities and I will report back. So, to our two (TWO!) fans: Wish me luck!

The Duathalon.

What an awkward mess of an evening. There is nothing funny about this post except for the absurd circumstance of the night.

That morning, Billy ran a 5K and biked over 50 miles and was exhausted and sore. Kaitlin was confused and thought the two were related in some sort of Duathalon. That's when I thought of our every weekend Duathalon: drugs and alcohol.



Erin's house party in Allston was definitely a bust. There was no one there. Once again, we brought the party. I don't know why people even have parties if we aren't there. Useless wastes of time. There were a few people there (like 5) but they were all friends from the Warped Tour and/or in Big D and the Kids Table. Srs :rolleyes:. They wanted nothing to do with us and we wanted nothing to do with them. The only thing we could do to enjoy ourselves while we waited until the cookies kicked in was drink and dance. I didn't even dance much because there were too many lights on and it was just various groupings of the 4 of us in the center of the living room. It was like being on display. I hate those kinds of parties. So, in an attempt to win the Duathalon, I just drank. And I was good at that.

The myspace date was the bigger disaster though. He sort of flaked out on coming and I convinced him it would be fine if he came because it was a shitty party anyway. I was on the porch when he arrived and I saw him through the kitchen window and I knew immediately the whole thing was a mistake. He wasn't attractive like his pictures AT ALL. At least I look like my pictures!!! And when he came out on the porch, he was clearly gay. Gay like homosexual. It's sad he doesn't know it. Then he rolled a cigarette (gross) and sat in a chair with his arm across his chest like how fat girls sit with pillows on their laps. He was extremely uncomfortable the entire night. I was in another state of mind honestly. And I was comfortable there, so I couldn't relate to this guy. And by relate I mean I barely talked to him and wanted to get away from him every time I went out on the porch to try to talk to him again. It was really awful and I made sure I got good and wasted before we went to a party on Mission Hill.

That party wasn't good either. And we got there after 2 which is not too late for a Mission Hill party, but a lot of people had already left. There was cake though and it was a welcome taste in my mouth. I can really only remember how it felt squishing in my mouth and it was awesome. Then we went to get pizza which was another surprise to my taste buds. I have never loved cake and pizza more than last night. On the way home, KT, Billy, Em, Mary and me sang/screamed along to Hero, All By Myself, End of the Road, and Don't Want to Miss a Thing. Nothing says wasted like a Mariah Carey/Celine Dion/Boyz II Men/Aerosmith sing-a-long. The best part was I had my eyes closed the whole time. That's right, I was singing with my eyes closed.

Going to bed was the best thing I did last night. I think, in the end, no one wins the Duathalon.

THUNDERDOME! and possible final blog ever.

So, I'm packing as we speak to go to Seattle tonight. All this week people have been wishing me luck, saying heartfelt goodbyes, and saying they're really going to miss me. My mom and sister even came down to visit on Thursday. And we all went to a meet and greet/fare well dinner with Emma, Kaitlin, and Mary. Katie and Emma called me on speaker phone last night to tell me they're going to miss me, but I'd talked to them less than an hour before and would see them less than an hour later. It was really starting to creep me out, the melodrama. So, I'm convinced I will probably die on this trip. Now, I'm not afraid of planes and I don't think someone will kill me, but you know, I might die. Everyone has said their final goodbyes and I've spent time with everyone I really love and I think it would be okay, really. I guess. I mean, as okay as dying can be. So, it is not so amazing this blog entry, it's not so WFI, but it may be my last WFI and final blog ever. So, you're going to have to read it and like it. If I live to tell the tales of my future misadventures, I'll remember your goodwill in reading this story of Thunderdome and grace you with PICTURE blogs as I've bought a new camera. Stay tuned. I'm sure Sasha will have at least 88 blogs to keep you entertained between now and my computer ETA next week.s

Intent on having one fantastic night of fun before I leave for my 10 day trip to the northwest coast and my imminent death, I initially wanted to beg for tickets outside Rilo Kiley and see my favorite band in the entire world for the 10th time or so, go out dancing and crash before 3 to wake up early and do laundry and pack. I spent most of the day incredibly stressed out doing all the errands I needed to get done before leaving. In typical fashion, I had a small, hunger induced emotional meltdown on the phone in a changing room at the mall and me and Emma decided to scrap that idea and just go to some dance party later on.

Then I ate mall chinese food and fuck anyone who thinks that's anywhere near a BFI. Cause it's not. I ate it in the cab home and got sticky shit all over me. Eating greasy food in the dark is really difficult. I like to think perhaps the last advice I'll ever give you is "Don't eat mall chinese food in a cab." Makes slipping into eternity all the more comforting.

Moving on. We were invited to a dance party by my ongoing 1A. He's neat. And since we can't go anywhere without a group, Heidi, Elise, Elise's friends, Heidi's friend Brittany, and Patti all met us there. We didn't know what to expect really. I imagined a super sweaty dance party in a cramped legion hall, shirtless boys hanging from American flag poles, girls we don't know who don't want to be friends with us lined up at the bathroom, inventing new dance moves to avoid people we know and don't like while trying to strategically dance near cute boys, and general mayhem. Our usual Friday night. We show up to the American Legion on the Charles in Cambridge and the party is outside! Next to the river! There's beer! There's flashing lights! Theres tons of people we DON'T know! Awesome. I guess it was like a rave only not completely retarded. I've really only seen those things happen in Lifetime movies. Although I can't say anyone wasn't slipped roofies and raped last night, I CAN say there were several djs, we drank several beers, we hung out with several friends we actually like, and had several hours of fun. What what!

Thunderdome Recap:
Sweaty dance party: negative
Fun non-sweaty dance party: CHECK! (my favorite kind!)
Idiot boys: negative
Girls in bathroom line: indoors
People we know and don't like: nowhere in sight.

Who could ask for more?

Toward the end of the night Mary says, "Hey that guy looks like Craig!" Emma says, "Everyone here looks like Craig!" Then I said, "It is Craig!!!" Craig is like, king of Boston bike dudes, is some sort of team leader, and had some organizational role in the Pee Party. I don't really know him or much about him, but he's one of Emma's best friends. So we hung out with Craig for a little bit to find an after party with some pot since I left my drugs at home. After much discussion (Should we go to the Hills? [Mission Hill, that is] Should we go to our house? Should we not go at all? Should Mary take that guy home? OMG WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO), we settled on bourbon and drugs at Craig's house. I would have been content to go home and sleep knowing all the things I had to do today. So, we head over to Craig's, smoke, listen to music, talk about bikes, look at pictures, watch Mary swing on Craig's swing, I fall asleep and before you know it it's 5:30 in the morning! Before you know it? That's like Nexthingyouknow. Nexthingyouknow??? What?! Anyway, the WFI here is DON'T GO OUT ALL NIGHT WHEN YOU HAVE TO DO LAUNDRY ALL DAY AND FLY TO SEATTLE IN LESS THAN 12 HOURS.

The end.

Please send good I hope Gem lives vibes. I appreciate them.

WFI: Peeing on other people.

So I went to a party last night. A bike messenger party. After a race. In 90 degree heat. I think everyone was delirious and drunk and wet with sweat. We went for a dance party, but there were other ideas in other minds.

We arrive to the loft space and wait in a line 6 deep to pee in a bathroom with no toilet paper. Thank god for coffee filters! I've only been in a comparably grimy bathroom in rest stops in Jersey. Also, they do their dishes in the bathroom sink. Ew.

Moving into the larger dance space filled with about 100 sweaty, barely clothed, well tattooed, long haired boy bike messenger bodies, we are all in the dark. I am alone then looking for Mary or Emma or Lola or Craig or just anyone I know. The music has stopped. There are minutes of nervous confusion walking through the steamy room thick with pot odor and beer sweating of all the boys, groping everyone to find people I knew. Suddenly, the lights are back on and a babe with a megaphone is announcing the drinking contest. The rules: You must drink a can of PBR in the allotted amount of time while everyone holds a shiny tarp above their heads. When the megaphone announces NEW BEER, you drink another. If you haven't finished your last one you are out. Last one standing wins $500. P.S. You must clean your own piss or puke. When it starts, it is mayhem. I run to Mary in the corner. All the boys are going crazy, yelling, drinking, throwing beer cans, stepping on them, spraying beer everywhere. It lasted about 15 minutes. That's like 15 beers. When there is a final winner, everyone who has a beer dumps it on the poor/rich guy. There is beer raining everywhere in the room and a half inch of liquid pooling on the floor. WE WERE HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!

Then the WFI/greatest thing happened. Amidst the mayhem, there is a guy in the center of the crowd who whips his dick out and starts peeing straight up in the air peeing on everyone in sight. Mary and I run into a corner and hide behind two other boys. This guy's bladder was bottomless. He just peed on everyone everywhere. Then someone pushes him away and yells at him and he stops peeing. Only moments later he begins peeing again. Suddenly a large, sexy black man runs across the room like a dark knight in shining armor and punches the kid in the face three times knocking him into the speakers and dropping the speaker into the dj table. WE WERE HAVING SO MUCH MORE FUN!!!!! Dude fucking deserved it! DON'T PEE ON PEOPLE!!!! I was nervous we were going to have a fight club moment, but Babe With a Megaphone goes over to calm down Sexy Black Guy and the crisis is averted.

After the owner of the loft mopped up the pee and beer and sweat, the lights were off again and the dance party was back on. We danced like we had never danced before. People trickled out of the room and we were soon the owners of the dance floor. We were maniacs. Maniacs on the floor. We were dancing like we never danced before. When we gave up hours later, the fun was officially over. We ARE the party and we were leaving.

Out on the street trolling for dirty, drunk boys to take home (the good ones were gone already), we met a girl named Padmani which looks nice and all but sounds like Pudmoney. She was a wasted riot. I fell asleep in the car and woke up to a dehydrated headache.

WFI: Peeing on people. BFI: Having the most fun friends.