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ain't that the truth, steve! lolz!



but let's be honest, steve left out the part about getting your feelings hurt and feeling like the most useless person in the school!


substitute teaching, ftw!

job hunt: back on.

after a mildly successful experience as a substitute teacher (I actually will have only gone to work 29 times since my hire date back in October [but it was the end of October!!!]. but before you criticize me, my track record isn't even that bad!! considering thanksgiving break, christmas break, my whole "i'm in israel" thing, and my affinity for recreational drug use, i don't think i did thaaaat badly), i am now left without a job. if there is one thing republicans are good at, it's cutting education funding (amirite??). oh, arizona, you silly goose; welcome to your own personal WFI!

i guess it's time to work on that screen play i keep telling Gem and Christopher i'm writing.

Back in Boston; or, Hello Jordan!

i came back to boston to hang out with gem before i get shipped off to israel for a ten day "excursion" through my holy land; war? what war?!

gem was sure to give me some ground rules before i even arrived. i'm a terrible listener and have never been one for "specifics", so here is what i imagine gem's rules were:

1. don't fucking make me miserable
2. don't complain about anything ever
3. don't be a bitch

and of course that last rule is crossed off because she doesn't think that's possible. or rather, i should say she WOULDN'T think that's possible since this is my imagined list of her rules. since i wasn't listening.

an open letter to

Dear "Real Teacher",

Hello, it's me, "The Substitute". No, we've never actually met, but I've heard a lot about you and I have played with everything in the top drawer of your desk. I've also learned that the password to your computer isn't "worksucks", "iamsobored", "happyhour", "nsync" or "ilikecats". Honestly, the first four were more about me than about you, but I was really shocked that the one about cats didn't work. I'm going to keep trying to crack it though, because you didn't leave me any lesson plans and I dismissed the kids shortly after taking attendance, but I don't get paid unless I stay until 3.

You're an asshole, "Real Teacher".

Sincerely,
Your Sub

i have so many posts to...well, post

but no desire to write them out.


every day is a wfi for me since i began substitute teaching.

basically, kevin, you were right.

if only i had a copy of the note i left the kindergarten teacher of the class i subbed for on halloween... i believe it read something like this:

"re: your lesson plans; non functional. no one listens to me. i don't know why because i'm bigger than they are. i will never come back. ps, holy cow."