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yo, few readers.

we are working on a move to tumblr.

new posts will be there.

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thursday night's plans.

Seriously.

today i walked into my favorite local art store. it's pretty new, but they had a few in tempe/phoenix when i lived there. a nice little independent store. with good supplies. and not craft shit. i love stores without craft shit (fuck you knitting/puff paints/scrap book supplies!!!).


and lo and behold. holy effing shit. bitching mother fucker. a handwritten note taped to the door. if desperation had a typeface, it was definitely printed in it.


HELP WANTED PART TIME

help wanted!!! and i want to help!!! i've been trying to help for a year! and in an art store!!! without a uniform!!! so i can wear jeans and tshirts and sneakers and be happy!!! and never would i have to begin a sentence with "would you like anything to drink?" "hey can everyone be quiet? i need to take attendance..."

and part time even! lord knows i don't like to fully commit to anything - but to partially commit?? oh i can do that. i've been doing that all my life!

GIVE ME AN APPLICATION!!!!

OH - AND LET ME MAKE A PURCHASE TOO CUZ I CAME HERE FOR THAT REASON SPECIFICALLY!

(i got a swweeeettt new sketchbook btw)


so i fill out the application. it looks good - save for kinda sloppy handwriting - but what did they expect when they hand me some old bic?? this bitch uses GEL PENS. get real, please. but come on - FINALLY an application where putting down "BFA isn't laughable! and maybe...is even PREFERRED!!


i hand it in and continue on my way. about twenty minutes later when i'm nearing my neighborhood i am reflecting on m day and i realize...

i didn't put my phone number on the application. anywhere. no where. not any place. no place. no line. no box. no nothing.

fucking. crap.

but see - this is how we know i've grown as a person over the last year. previously i would have just left it was it was. i would have continued home, maybe slightly bummed, or maybe slightly in good spirits because shit - that is so fucking retarded it's lame. here i have been, laid off for months, and job searching/being rejected from everything so much that i'm depressed and borderline miserable and i blow the opportunity of a lifetime! (and yes, sadly, this is just that for me.)

but no. I'VE GROWN. call it desperation or call it adulthood - but i picked up my phone, 411ed the shit out of that store and talked to the cashier.

"uuuh...hi. i just filled out an application there but i didn't put my phone number on it..."
"oh...haha, well, that's odd. let me fish it out for you!"
"okay, also, let's pretend this never happened and that i'm not an idiot."
"nooo problem..."

the irony? i gave them my phone number...and they will never, ever call.

(srsly though...how does she twitter?? outsourcing??)

more math department.

this continued!

probably a huuuuuge WFI at the time

but it doesn't appear as though she was gang banged at all!

craigslist

twitter

ain't that the truth, steve! lolz!



but let's be honest, steve left out the part about getting your feelings hurt and feeling like the most useless person in the school!


substitute teaching, ftw!

the context for this doesn't even matter, but i had friended someone on thefacebook because I WANTED TO SEE HER PICTURES. turns out, she is going to be in town next week and wants to hang out.

i do not.


that's my brother by the way. in the room adjacent to my own.

little well read bastard.

more info here: http://www.womenscycling.ca/newsletter-august-september-06.htm#agony

edited to say: This is simply NOT funny.

Things I Believed In Middle School; or Things I Found To Be Untrue

1. When I was about 13 I was fairly certain world peace would be achieved when Shania Twain released her follow up to "Come On Over".

"Up" was released in November of 2002. Yeah. I wasn't right about this one.

2. In middle school I was fairly sure that Drew Barrymore would never turn 30. Not that she would like, die or anything. I just thought she'd be in her 20s forever. I really wanted this to be true 30 is just so...old? I just couldn't even fathom her as a 30 year old.

Drew is now 34 years old. Woops. Also, now that I'm 24, I no longer fear the 30s for other people, because I am far too busy fearing them for myself.

3. Bea Arthur is invincible.

As we all found out this week, this is sadly, not true. RIP Bea. dorothy4eva.




Just because you're dead, doesn't mean you're not funny.

things i text to kirsten while at work.

yes, i know i said i got laid off. and i did. but in substitute land, getting laid off means that instead of choosing your own jobs every day - and being able to choose from like, 15 of them EVERY DAY - you maybe get called for one specific job each month. so instead of making $90 a day, you're making $90 a month. yes. my life. anyway, here we go!

7:22am: Im subbing at the high school where i havent been in a couple months and a kid saw me in the parking lot and called me a dumb bitch!!
7:23: it wasn't very nice of him.
7:28: i'm so bored. i'm working a math class.
kirsten 7:30: perfect. your preferred subject!
7:31: i sure do love it. numbersnumbersnumbers!
7:36: this girl is making a fortune teller instead of doing her work. i want to play w it so badly when she's done!
7:56: thank god i found a magic eye calendar to keep me busy!
8:14: this girl i refer to as "cheeto fingers" is in my class
8:15: she is just staring at the floor
8:18: now she's putting on mascara.
8:21: now she's curling them.
8:23: now 20 minutes in she's opening her notebook. good for her!
kirsten 8:24: ahaha. i want to meet cheeto fingers.
8:27: i don't think you'd have much to talk about.
8:34: she closed her notebook. ten minutes is enough for math. i agree!
8:39: she's asleep on her backpack now.
8:44: still sleeping. she didn't even look up when the phone rang.
8:47: she's awake and looking around the room to see if anyone noticed. i did!!
9:52: aw, this girl failed her drivers exam :(
kirsten 11:02: poor thing
11:11: i can't see the magic eye!!!!!
kirsten 11:17: it's a pig
11:48: now i'm at the track meet. it's making me tired.
kirsten 11:50: there is a track meet?
11:50: yeah some all day meet. i'm subbing for a teacher who is working at it. so many running mexicans!
kirsten: what did they steel[sic]???
11:51: this shit is boring.

my priorities are right where they should be

i had a decent march/april money-wise.

despite not actually having a job, i managed to get one paycheck in the mail from the last time i actually got called in to work. i sold a couple paintings, a couple screen prints, house sat for a weekend, and finished up work on some commissioned items for a wedding.

i had some bank, yo!

and then i spent it all on 2nd row kelly clarkson tickets!



now i have to scour the house for change so i can buy some scratchers and make my money back!

more birthdays

Again, another reason why I'm "sorta gay".

a facebook suggestion:

birthdays

caroline: are you celebrating the year of your birth?

me: yeah, i'm at danny's with kirsten!

caroline: careful, that bitch is CRAZY.

stuck in traffic

me: where are you?

kirsten: i've been stuck in traffic for hours. i am not even out of phoenix.

me: people who get into car accidents are so inconsiderate.

kirsten: i've been saying that for years.

me: i'm looking it up online. it happened an hour and a half ago - it must be a big deal if it hasn't been cleared yet...

kirsten: there better be five people and a cop dead!

sasha: bad karma!

kirsten: i'm joking. but srsly...

scabs