Sunday, April 29, 2007

my new balance sneakers are all worn out from walking!

gemath y: craigslist fittmann
whiite thrash:
gemath y: fittmann!
whiite thrash: same creepy picture.
whiite thrash: superwalk!
gemath y: walkdance!
whiite thrash: worst web design ever.
whiite thrash: it might as well be on angelfire.
gemath y: seriously.
gemath y: superwalk
gemath y: seriously.
gemath y: haha
gemath y: this thing has to be the best joke ever
gemath y: it's fucking WALKING
whiite thrash: but it is not
whiite thrash: race walking.
gemath y: I was just reading that
whiite thrash: no exaggerated hip swagger here!
gemath y: race walking is an olympic sport?
whiite thrash: yeah. that is true.
whiite thrash: you must have one foot on the ground at all times.
whiite thrash: otherwise you're
whiite thrash: running.
whiite thrash: or skipping.
whiite thrash: frolicking.
gemath y: are you being serious?
whiite thrash: i swear to god.
whiite thrash: wiki
gemath y: the world is so fucked up
whiite thrash: hahaha
whiite thrash: when i write my movie/sitcom pilot
whiite thrash: it will have
whiite thrash: a racewalker.
gemath y: I want to see this in action.
whiite thrash: youtube it.
gemath y: and some fat girl saying 'that is so fucked up'
gemath y: I hope
gemath y: to be played by kate winslet of course
whiite thrash: There are two rules that govern racewalking. One is the lifting rule -- the athlete's back toe cannot leave the ground until the heel of the front foot has touched. The second is called "creeping', when the supporting leg does not straighten as the body passes over it. These rules are judged by the naked eye, which creates controversy at today's high speeds.
whiite thrash: at todays high speeds!
whiite thrash: hahaha
gemath y: I love this
gemath y: it's a whole new world
whiite thrash: While racewalking is the official name for the sport, many people who are not familiar with the event call it speedwalking, as racers walk at a fast pace. This term is disliked by racewalkers, as it is the term that was used by those in the fitness industry (i.e. not track & field) to denote extra exertion while walking, but without any of the rules
whiite thrash: haha
whiite thrash: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
whiite thrash: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
gemath y: haha
gemath y: omg
gemath y: youtube
gemath y: they're so creepy
gemath y: I bet I could do this
whiite thrash: youd be red paddled so fast.
gemath y: haha
whiite thrash: we could do a good 28 days later parody with this.
gemath y: no
gemath y: I wish I had a direct line to snl
gemath y: like just call em up and be like 'racewalking.'
gemath y: and they'd write a skit about it
gemath y: it's a will ferrell type character
gemath y: I don'te ven know who could do it now
whiite thrash: hahahaha
whiite thrash: no
whiite thrash: maya rudolph.
gemath y: yes.
gemath y: YES.
whiite thrash: mmhmm.
whiite thrash: shes my fav of all time maybe.
whiite thrash: simply because of the versace skits.
gemath y: I feel so fat watching these people walk
whiite thrash: that was her, right?
whiite thrash: hahaha
gemath y: donatella?
whiite thrash: this is a total worst fucking idea.
whiite thrash: yes.
gemath y: bitchachino

Monday, April 23, 2007


I know I told you the other day that you're Lesbian and I am Gay. I think I even threw in an obvs.

but after last night, when you made out with a really hot, completely straight male, I just don't know. You did good, kid.

but wait. he pushed you in corners to makeout with you and slept in your bed with you and nothing else happened. you made no move. I call that a bad idea.


at least you wore your hair down...for 2 seconds!


Friday, April 20, 2007

Arizona's Worst Idea...

...can be found here.

and no, it isn't a map of Mesa.

[edit: i didn't take a screenshot when i originally posted, so the wonderful collage of all the "beautiful" (read: "unique" and/or "exotic") contestants is no longer available, but now the winner is up, so here is a screenshot in case the page ever goes down. because that would be unfortunate. mostly because this post wouldn't make sense, right?]:


so gem, if you click our blogspot profile (off "le click click" on the left) our header is "L&G".

lesbian and gay, obvs.

which one do you want to be??



Thursday, April 19, 2007

awful things.

gemath y: name awful things
gemath y: like rape, murder etc
whiite thrash: hahaha
whiite thrash: this is a swell game!
gemath y: yeah
gemath y: it is
gemath y: help me out
whiite thrash: math
whiite thrash: tsunamis
gemath y: it's for a joke
whiite thrash: sanjaya
gemath y: sanjaya is awesome
whiite thrash: poaching
whiite thrash: flying planes into buildings
whiite thrash: nuclear weapons
whiite thrash: concentration camps
whiite thrash: killing baby seals
whiite thrash: animal testing
gemath y: got those covered
gemath y: more
whiite thrash: human trafficking
whiite thrash: slavery
whiite thrash: HIV
whiite thrash: catheters
whiite thrash: sp??
whiite thrash: scott stapp
gemath y: you are so creative
gemath y: this is great
whiite thrash: accidents yielding paralysis
whiite thrash: uncircumcized penises
whiite thrash: popov
gemath y: no those can be fun
gemath y: popov?
whiite thrash: its a vodka
gemath y: oh
gemath y: is it gross?
whiite thrash: you can get a handle for
whiite thrash: 11.99
whiite thrash: plastic. not glass.
gemath y: ha
whiite thrash: so yes.
whiite thrash: anyway shall i go on?
gemath y: yes
whiite thrash: ingrown hairs
whiite thrash: (what is this for?)
gemath y: you'll see
whiite thrash: palestinian liberation organization
whiite thrash: imus
whiite thrash: urinal cakes
whiite thrash: (ewwww)
whiite thrash: root beer
whiite thrash: popcorn
whiite thrash: gangreen
gemath y: I can't believe you're putting urinal cakes and pocorn on the same level as concentration camps.

seacrest is a sexy bitch!

there's something i love about a short, skinny homo with a dry sense of humor. mmm.

birthday! the big twotwo.

best idea: chocolate covered fruit (thanks gem!).
worst idea: frosted sugar cookies (no thanks, mom!).

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Dear Lewis,

I have to say my favorite part about our new blog is that you post in it now. Plus, our profile is still major lolz.

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my best friend.

Ryan says,"HB, SA!"

He's so sweet!

gem posts on this board. but i don't.

but i bet i'd have a lot to say on it.


terrible guy.

Dear Terrible Guy,

I used to know a guy just like you. We were friends for a very long time. He lives in another state.

I hope you don't write back, but if you do, it better not be good.

There's no very good antonym for terrible,

Adequate Girl.

origins of the new plan; or: srsly this is the WFI.

whiite thrash: so no one has asked me out to dinner for my birthday
whiite thrash: except for
whiite thrash: THE DISHWASHER AT MY WORK??
gemath y: well, you choose your friends based on their attractiveness.
gemath y: never works.
whiite thrash: hahaha
gemath y: so
gemath y: avril is such a fucking asshole
gemath y: you have to watch letterman
gemath y: omg
whiite thrash: i love the girlfriend song though and theres nothing you can do about it.
gemath y: I've never seen a more annoying person
gemath y: watch the show.
gemath y: definitely
gemath y: your friends suck so much
gemath y: this is why I can't visit you in az
gemath y: you have to come here
gemath y: because my friends are the greatest
whiite thrash: i need to find a reciprocating best friend.
gemath y: here's the deal
gemath y: you're in college.
gemath y: I think college is one of the worst places in the planet
gemath y: there's no way in the world you're going to make a best friend there
whiite thrash: i'll advertise on craigslist
whiite thrash: wanted: bff4life
whiite thrash: must have: spunk
whiite thrash: no: skinheads
whiite thrash: hahaha
gemath y: wow
gemath y: you HAVE to do the craigslist thing
gemath y: to see the responses
whiite thrash: wouldnt that be so funny?
gemath y: now that's a worst fucking idea if I ever saw one
gemath y: I have to go eat peanut butter.

but first! gem had to search the platonics. sigh. winner #1!!!:

and then she obviously had to craft a letter.

A friend and I are looking at our respective cities' craigslists to determine where we should post our want ad for a new best friend. We couldn't decide between strictly platonic or jobs. The thought was that we needed to do some research in the platonic section. This activity being a continuation of our worst fucking ideas, we decided to respond to only the ones we loved.

So, I found your listing and thought it was worthy of a response. Clearly, nowhere near interesting. But, NEAT, man. I don't live in JP and I don't know how old you are, but if you have a myspace, I'll make you a blingee.

To clarify, I don't need a new best friend, she does.

i don't know if he responded. it's her turn to take the ol' blog wheel. BLOG WHEEL. you know, like a car? take the wheel? zing.

Monday, April 9, 2007

brazilians get POUNDED.

gemath y: so like, I deal with a lot of ladies each day
gemath y: and some of them are so square
gemath y: but they're getting brazilians
gemath y: and I'm just like...'does this chick get POUNDED on the weekends or WHAT!'
gemath y: and then I freak out because I think some people can read minds
gemath y: and that if a person has that ability
gemath y: they would keep it a secret
whiite thrash: OH MY GOD
gemath y: and it would be so frequent that they hear inappropriate things that they could just ignore them really easily
gemath y: so I wouldn't know that they know
whiite thrash: and then i try to cover it up
whiite thrash: like
gemath y: but they know
gemath y: yeah
gemath y: so I start thinking good things
gemath y: like
gemath y: 'pounded because you're soooooo attractive! but you must know how hot you are....I wish I was as pretty as you'
gemath y: and then I am like 'oh god I am a lesbian'
whiite thrash: hahaha
gemath y: and then I am like 'that would be so weird to be a lesbian and see so much vagina everyday'
gemath y: and then I start thinking about the lesbian girl I work with and how she doesn't do brazilians
gemath y: and I think it's because she wants to like, keep it fresh
gemath y: because if she does too many she might become straight
gemath y: and this is not an exaggeration sasha.
gemath y: I definitely think these same thoughts over and over
gemath y: this girl tonight had really small labia and her like...hole
gemath y: what's the proper term for hole?
gemath y: vaginal opening?
gemath y: whatever
whiite thrash: i think this conversation should end.
whiite thrash: now would be good.
gemath y: it was like open just sitting there
gemath y: and I was like
gemath y: her boyfriend must love her
gemath y: and then I thought 'what kind of sick fuck wants to marry a wide, hairless vagina'
gemath y: and then I totally did the mental backtracking thing
gemath y: but at the end of the wax I got the feeling she was mad at me
gemath y: and I felt really insecure
gemath y: I hope this is not a part you're going to cut and paste
gemath y: unless you change your essay to brazilian waxing
whiite thrash: or now.

Monday, April 2, 2007

gemath y: you are the only person who thinks I am consistently funny
whiite thrash: i only have two friends.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

gemath y: she has great legs though
gemath y: but waist up she's like a monkey version of shania twain
whiite thrash: i dont know what that means but i am really excited that you said it.
gemath y: how do you not know what that means
gemath y: it couldn't be clearer.