Dear "Real Teacher",
Hello, it's me, "The Substitute". No, we've never actually met, but I've heard a lot about you and I have played with everything in the top drawer of your desk. I've also learned that the password to your computer isn't "worksucks", "iamsobored", "happyhour", "nsync" or "ilikecats". Honestly, the first four were more about me than about you, but I was really shocked that the one about cats didn't work. I'm going to keep trying to crack it though, because you didn't leave me any lesson plans and I dismissed the kids shortly after taking attendance, but I don't get paid unless I stay until 3.
You're an asshole, "Real Teacher".